Accommodating a Guest’s Dietary Restrictions
(How far do we go?)
Big family gatherings and holiday dinners are on the horizon. You know what that means. No, not first-time grandparents with baby photos to show you.
I’m talking about guests with dietary restrictions.
If you are the chosen one that hosts Thanksgiving, you most likely are tasked with roasting a giant turkey and prepping other things for that day. It is already a hot, sweaty time but throw in a list of ingredients that people cannot or will not eat, and things can really get heated. Limitations like dairy-free, egg-free, gluten-free, nightshade vegetable-free, nitrite-free, nut-free, and soy-free.
How far do we go in accommodating these restrictions?
Before anyone and everyone gets mad, let me disclose that occasionally I have been *that* guest. My family members have legit dairy issues. And from time to time, I impose certain restrictions on what I eat.
As a start, I think it is helpful to know the difference between a food allergy and a food intolerance.
Food Allergy versus Food Intolerance
A food allergy causes your immune system to overreact when you eat the offending item. These reactions run the gamut from mildly annoying, such as a rash, to downright deadly like anaphylactic shock. My friend’s son has an allergy to peanuts that is so severe that it causes his throat to close up and constrict his breathing. He is hypervigilant about what he eats.
More than 90% of allergic reactions come from the “Big Nine” food allergies: crustaceans, eggs, fish, milk, nuts (peanuts and tree nuts), sesame, shellfish, soy, and wheat. If a person’s allergy is severe, like my friend’s son, they usually carry an Epi-pen with them at all times because they know it could save their lives.
By contrast, a food intolerance has to do with your gut. It is sensitive to certain foods and has a hard time digesting them. Your digestive system reacts to these foods with adverse symptoms like bloating, cramping, diarrhea, gas, nausea, and stomach pain. Food intolerances can be very uncomfortable but aren’t deadly. Now, you might feel like dying, but you probably won’t.
Other Dietary Restrictions
Sometimes dietary restrictions don’t have anything to do with allergies or intolerances. They are self-imposed. It might be because a person is following a specific way of eating for weight loss, inflammation reduction, religious reasons, ethical reasons, or none-of-your-business reasons. We may not understand why people choose to limit their diet, but we can acknowledge them and be sensitive to them.
Some common dietary restrictions include:
Dairy-free: no dairy such as butter, cheese, cream, ice cream, milk, sour cream, and yogurt.
Gluten-free: no products with gluten including bread, cereal, crackers, other baked goods, and pasta. Also, no soy sauce or beer.
Low Carb and Keto: low or no carbohydrates such as bread, crackers, grains, legumes, rice starchy vegetables, and sugar. Also, no alcohol.
Vegan: no animal-sourced products like fish, meats, poultry, and seafood. Also, no dairy, gelatin, or honey.
So, let’s take a look at what to do when you have a carload of people coming over to your home for a meal.
How Not to Lose Your Cool, Sanity, or Friends
What follows are some strategies to help us all get through Thanksgiving and other holiday meals without a meltdown over food.
A week or two in advance, ask guests if they have any special dietary concerns and restrictions. Take notes.
Don’t promise that you will accommodate their restrictions, especially if you have no intention of doing so.
Do suggest that they bring a dish they know they can eat.
If you can, challenge yourself. I know, it’s a pain to construct a dish that is keto-friendly and dairy-free and soy-free, especially if you haven’t done it before. I like to do my best to accommodate dietary restrictions people have by considering it a fun challenge to come up with something they can eat. Ninety-nine percent of the time, guests are so appreciative of the effort even if the result isn’t that great.
Have choices. Set up a buffet table or pass serving platters family-style instead of plating everyone’s meal. Serve garnishes like sour cream, cheese, or crumbled bacon on the side rather than on top.
Don’t make it a thing. You don’t need to tell everyone about someone else’s dietary restrictions or preferences. That is their business. People, especially vegans, will let others know all about it as the evening unfolds.
It is perfectly acceptable to admit you can’t do everything. Consider purchasing a ready-made dish at a grocery store or restaurant that will satisfy your guest’s dietary needs.
Tell your guests that you are glad they came. Sometimes people with high-maintenance or restrictive diets feel out of place or even unwelcome at family gatherings. We can all get judge-y about food and what people eat or don’t eat. A word of encouragement and reassurance from you can put that person at ease.
What about politics and world affairs? That’s another article for another time. Lord, help us all on that one.
Tell Me
How do you handle guests with dietary concerns? I’d love to hear your suggestions!
Thanks for sharing Betty! I just wrote a post about this too but I love your take on welcoming them. I've been that guest and also been the host and it's tricky for both parties.